I thought I was unacceptable then.

I thought I was unacceptable then.

Digging through photos, I found one of me when… Dang!  I looked pretty good. Follow the sequence of photos as I age, you will see what I mean. Young women, take it and run. Understand that we live in the shadow of Barbie. Don’t hide from the camera, no matter your size.

Allowing more photos to be taken of me is only one little resolution though. Being the self-starter, perfectionistic-type, it seems that a more influential plan is in rounding out this one intention with other important goals I know I will meet. And why not write them down? I’ll do them, I will. Really.
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Christmas kiss

Christmas kiss

2009 New Year Resolutions

Essa Adams a.k.a. Thayne Hudson

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  • More photos taken of me. Check out this progression over the years. I well remember how discontented I was when the photo was taken. Now I like the picture. If that’s my reaction at fifty-ish, what do I think I will be saying when I’m seventy-something?
  • Eat more soup, vegetables, salads. Honestly, my favorite foods.
  • Plant a winter garden on the sleeping porch tables and shelves in January. Use garden lights.
  • Have a load of horse and chicken manure dumped in my back yard. Top with soil and organic compost. In late-March, plant garden.
  • Read all my books on the Essenes.
  • Write A Walk-in Illusion during February-March in six weeks or less, then don’t look for several months.
  • Publish Forever, Moore in June 2009.

Do I have to have ten?

Earliest in series

Second in my aging series

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  • Dance every day. One song makes me happier.
  • Bicycle often.
  • Read two novels a month. Review, promote for other authors to reach their dreams. Believe the same will happen for me.

That’s ten. One more…

When I started to really hide from the camera.

When I started to really hide from the camera, eighteen years ago.

  • Spend more time with all the people and fur children I love. If not time, then be closer to them, call them, connect.

Eleven has always been a special number for me. So we have eleven.

Good luck with yours, if you are gullible enough to make any.

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The last photo is from four years ago. Though I look younger now, since then, since I was in my teens even, I have hidden behind the camera. But this is a new year. I may hold my granddaughter and pet skunks in front of me, but I will be seen and remembered.

We all want a glow of pleasure from our memories. Let’s not be encouraged us to hide in shame and humiliation of our appearance – to hide from the means for our families to also have those memories after we are gone. Let’s learn to make friends with the camera.

camera not my friend

Camera not my friend, can you tell? Seven years ago.

I wanted to burn this. Now I am okay.

I wanted to burn this. Now I'm okay, really.

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What is spirituality to you?

I just read this very open-hearted question on Amazon and had to engage.spirituality is simple

I had to answer because I have been feeling a personal loss through my “the holidays are less than relevant” anxiety this year. So I remember –

For me, spirituality is when I close my eyes and I feel the warmth on my head that tells me I am being taken care of, that my path is good for me.

Spirituality, for me, is seeing clues on my journey, such as key numbers, that are a sign I am close to my purpose or path. I think there is a reason the child’s game, ‘You’re getting warmer,’ is one of the first we learn.

Spirituality is witnessing the miracles all around. May these never cease to bring us wonder. Miracles bring us closer to the Mystery of the Divine.

Spirituality is not knowing a coincidence.  It is understanding that every event in life is a tapestry.

Spirituality challenges the goodness in me to shine, and kicks my butt through conscience, in the here and now, when I am dull.

But mostly, I like the warmth that feels like radiant heat within my heart and power and laughter in my center.  Feelings that come when I am doing what makes me happiest, like writing essays to make people smile (read Gracie: The Christmas Lady bug on first post of this site – live link here).  Spirituality is the feeling of developing a lovely webpage, and birthing a novel, and holding a pet skunk against my heart, and feeding the squirrels and birds before dawn on a snowy morning. This simple spirituality feels really really good.

Essa Adams a.k.a. Thayne Hudson

A Breath Floats By: An Illusion for the Soul

spiritual fiction / visionary / paranormal realism

Skunk Medicine memoirs

Women’s Fiction Blog on WordPress

ESSA Books

~The quilt on the wall

December 16, 2008

Seasonal pausetree

You may momentarily wonder, as you visit, is Women’s Fiction a blog as in a journal?  Or is Women’s Fiction a short story forum within a blog?

Both.

Women’s Fiction will cover a range of life concerns from beliefs to gardening, body image to political (i.e. caring for the people) and relationships to animal rights.

A tapestry of women’s voices are being pieced for the quilt on the wall. This will be a rich wool-backing, whereas the creative side of short stories will dance and illuminate.

Why the pregnant pause?

Actually, I prefer the term peri-menopausal pause.  Seriously though – the holidays are all around us now, but I don’t hear them this year.  Something is amiss in the world, oh what can that be?

I continue to represent what I feel with Gracie, the tiny fake ladybug that needed me. For today, for me, this is as real as it gets.

The little fake ladybug sleeping in an envelope in my desk drawer. Yes, oh yes, she’s in my drawer. Her sister, Phoebe, seems to be down in the wall.

What was also real for me was to reach out, wanting to share a story that flowed from me. Wanting for someone, anyone, to smile while there is so much amiss. My ultimate offering.

I am a person of words, could write until dawn passes and comes again.

But no one has time to read, especially now when it seems like the world could cave in. When we need to ignore that for a time because there are so many holiday preparations. Reading is for January.

So I say briefly to you tonight in an intensely un-politically-correct outpouring….

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas… and all the other happy and merry stuff that goes with this season. I hope you and your family smile often.

Essa

ESSA Books

Remember to enter the book give-away after you read Gracie: The Christmas Ladybug